


The Balm of Remembrance

by Erikthonius



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Nightmares
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-30
Updated: 2020-06-30
Packaged: 2021-03-03 20:35:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,401
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24991627
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Erikthonius/pseuds/Erikthonius
Summary: Nico has nightmares but Will has problems of his own.
Relationships: Nico di Angelo/Will Solace
Comments: 2
Kudos: 100





	The Balm of Remembrance

Nico had nightmares. This was not surprising; he was a demigod, and demigods’ dreams were powerful things. They could be prophetic or communicative. In Nico’s case, though, it was more complicated. His father was Hades, and that gave him some ability to travel through and control dreams. On the other hand, that also meant that his divine half sister was Melinoe, goddess of nightmares and night terrors, and his relationship with his underworld family was not always the best.

The worst dreams centered, not surprisingly, on his time in Tartarus, especially his encounter with Akhlys or worse, being imprisoned in that bronze jar. Whether it was hearing her voice, that combination of nails on the blackboard and the cries of a hundred million tortured souls, or the horror that he would agonizingly suffocate and starve to death alone and unmourned, he always woke up drenched in sweat and gasping for air.

It was after one of these that he decided to go to the infirmary. He didn’t need healing, but he wanted company, and he knew that Will was on duty that night. It didn’t matter that it was 3:00 in the morning. Will would be there, and just being there with his boyfriend (he was just now getting used to the term) would help make Nico feel a little less lost. He wouldn’t say that he’d woken up from a nightmare, he’d just say he was awake and wanted a little alone time together.

Nico crept out of Cabin Thirteen noiselessly. The cleaning harpies tended to ignore him when he was out after curfew, but he wasn’t in the mood for any confrontations. When he got to the infirmary, he quietly pushed the door open and slipped in. Most of the lights were off, so he knew that Will was probably in the office doing paperwork. Nico didn’t want to startle the healer, so he raised his hand to knock when he heard a soft weeping. His heart clenched. Will wasn’t supposed to cry! He was sunshine and light. He could heal just by smiling at people. This was wrong.

Nico pulled the door open and strode up to Will, who was bent over his desk, his head in his arms. The son of Apollo looked up abashedly, his blue eyes red and his freckled cheeks damp.

“Will, what’s wrong? Did someone hurt you?” Nico reached for his sword, ready to impale whoever had hurt his ‘significant annoyance’ and then dropped his hand when he realized that he wasn’t wearing his sword belt (or his jeans for that matter. He was barefoot and in pajama pants.)

“Oh, Nico, I didn’t want you to see me like this,” Will sniffled. “It’s nothing, really.” That lie stumbled out of his mouth rather transparently.

“No, Sunshine, it’s not nothing. What’s the matter?”

Will tried to duck his head down, but Nico had taken his chin in his hand and pulled him up, brown eyes looking deeply into blue ones.

After a sigh, Will began. “I’ve lost so many of them.” Nico knew immediately what Will meant. As the son of Hades, he had a sense for this.

“Tell me about them.”

“The first was a girl named Becca. She was coming into the camp for the first time when gryphons attacked her and the satyr who was escorting her. They were almost inside the border where they’d be safe, but...and then I tried to heal her, but I wasn’t good enough, I hadn’t learned enough. She died in my arms.”

Will started to shudder, so Nico put an arm around his shoulders, but Will shrugged him off so that he could continue.

“Next was Lee.” 

Nico knew about Lee. Lee was Will’s older brother and head counsellor. Will had worshipped him.

“It was the Battle of the Labyrinth. He was...he was…” Will couldn’t continue.

“It’s alright, caro,” the Italian endearment rolled off Nico’s tongue. “I know, I know.”

Will took a deep breath and went on. “In that battle we lost so many, Tegan, a daughter of Ares, Castor, he was Mr. D’s son…”

Nico moved closer, but Will held him back so that he could continue. “Then, in the Battle of Manhattan, I saw my brother Christian cut down right in front of me. I didn’t have time to do anything; I just felt his life slip away in front of me. And then Michael…”

Nico cut him off. He knew that Will was talking about his brother, Michael Yew. He’d heard about Michael’s death from Percy. He also knew that Will had grown even closer to Michael, especially after Lee’s death. He pulled his boyfriend close to him and let him sob onto his shoulder for a long time.

At last Will pulled away. In a hoarse whisper, he said, “I’m not good enough. They keep dying, and I’m not enough to save them. The list gets longer and longer. What if they hate me?”

“No, no.” Nico held him very gently. “They don’t hate you. I’ve seen some of them when I’m, you know…”

Will knew that his boyfriend went to the Underworld to do errands for his father. “But what if they’re wandering around in the Fields of Asphodel? What if they’re lost? What if they’re forgotten?”

“Will, Will, as long as you remember them, they won’t be forgotten. They’ll know you tried so hard; they’ll know that you always cared.”

Nico thought for a while. He’d become familiar with a lot of funeral customs, and he knew what Will needed.

“Listen, Will, you need a ritual.” His boyfriend looked at him like he was crazy. “No, listen to me. These are your dead; you feel responsible for them, so you need to honor them in a way that will make you feel like you’ve done the right thing. You need to let them know that they aren’t forgotten; That way you’ll know that they forgive you.”

The two boys talked for a while longer. They planned and they discussed. “Start with a flame,” Nico said. It gives you a focus, and the dead will appreciate the warmth. They miss it.” Will didn’t want to think about how his boyfriend knew that. “Just say their names. You don’t have to be too elaborate; you’re remembering them, not trying to raise them, but say their names. Let them know they won’t be forgotten.The ones in Elysium will be honored, and the wandering souls in Asphodel will be comforted.”

It was two weeks later that Nico was thoroughly embarrassed at breakfast. Will came to the Apollo table and kissed him on the cheek. Nico pulled back and started to hiss something about “not in public,” but the look of joy on the other’s face stopped him.

“It worked,” Will beamed. At first Nico had no idea what he was talking about, but then Will said, “Lee appeared to me in a dream.” A hush fell over the table. The older campers remembered, and the younger ones had heard the stories about their former head counsellor. “It was only for a moment, but he smiled at me and just said, ‘thanks’ before he vanished.”

It was later that week that Nico laid his head on the pillow. He was feeling uneasy when he went to bed. And so, he was not surprised when the nightmare started. It was one he’d had so many times before. He could feel the rough hands of the giants as they grabbed him by the throat and brutally shoved him into the jar. But this time it was different. Instead of a long wait as the suffocating darkness closed in, he was immediately pulled free. Gentle hands helped him to his feet.

He saw that there was a ring of demigods around him, guarding him from the giants, from the monsters, even from the dark gods of Tartarus. He thought he recognized one of them, Castor, the son of Dionysus that Will had mentioned. Finally, the shortest of them turned to him. This was obviously a child of Apollo, but he was even shorter than Nico. He smiled at Nico, with that sunshiny smile that Nico knew so well.

“Thank you, son of Hades. You’ve brought comfort to our brother, who worked so hard to try to save us, and you’ve made sure we will be remembered. We will always watch over you.”


End file.
